Truth Takes More Than Time
by princessscout91589
Summary: Irina tells her side of the story, from the beginning. Starts when Irina joins the KGB. Maybe I/J, we'll see. **Chapter 2 Up**
1. Default Chapter

Truth Takes More Than Time

Hey everyone! I heard that the episode after "A Dark Turn" was called "Truth Takes Time", so I wanted to start my own little idea on that. For a big change in style, I'm writing from Irina's POV. There might be a little I/J, I'll have to think about it . In fact, why don't you guys tell me if you want it to be I/J. Please R&R. These first chapters are going to be Irina telling her story, starting from when she joined the KGB. 

Chapter One: How My Life Began

Nobody really knows who I am. I've lived so many lives, I've lost track of who I really am myself. At first, I was just Irina, a small girl from Moscow who just happened to fit the description of a good KGB agent. When I was recruited, they said it was only temporary, that I would be helping my country. Well, look how temporary it was; I lost everything I had for my stupid country.

Training was simple enough. I was a natural at almost everything I did; all the agents were amazed. I watched, as a simple month of training became a year of tests, physical and mental. I continued my studies at the academy, leaving here and there for small missions. Soon, though, my superior said that he had the "perfect" mission for me. 

I was to go to the U.S. and infiltrate the CIA. No, I wouldn't become an agent; I would make one fall in love with me. I saw the profile of the man, Jack Bristow. He seemed like any girl's dream: top of his class when he was in school, model citizen, top agent in the CIA, and not too bad looking. A month before I was to leave, I was sent tapes of him working so I could learn what he was like. 

The hardest part of the job was saying goodbye to my family. My mother and father thought I was going overseas to find a job and a life. My sister, Anya, was especially sad to see me go. She cried so hard the night before I left, I thought of calling the whole thing off. But then, I reminded myself of why I was doing this. The CIA was a threat to my country, so I needed to get the information for my people. 

The morning I was to leave, I was told that Jack was starting some secret training program. I was to get all information on that. Finally, I was reminded that I must do all I could to get close to him. Jack didn't seem the dating type; he was too dedicated to his job. But, he did need someone, sooner or later. 

The whole was to the U.S. I memorized what I was to say. I was Laura Johnson, an English teacher from Florida who had spent the last three years traveling Russia. I also looked over a few books I had been given on teaching. It seemed simple, just tell the kids what to read and learn. I, of course, wouldn't really be teaching. I was moving to L.A. to take a break and meet new people. 

As soon as I stepped onto American soil, a small fear began to grow within me. What if I couldn't get close to Jack? What if I failed my first big mission for the KGB? Would I be allowed back to Russia? No, I told myself, things will go fine. I lightly tucked my hair behind my ear and headed for my new home. 

The KGB had provided me with a fully furnished apartment on the south side of L.A. It was very homily; most of it was painted a pale peach. It was simple, but just right for me. I was contacted that night about where Jack would be going to dinner the next night; the KGB had tapped his line to get the information. He was going with a friend of his, Arvin Sloane, also CIA. Of course, they told people they worked for the State Bureau of Arms Control.

I got dressed up the next night and went to the restaurant. I waited at the bar for a while, ignoring most of the men that came to talk to me. America was full of insanely drunk men, apparently. Then, though, Jack came in and I plastered on a smile. I "accidentally" bumped into him and my purse "inadvertently" fell open, spilling its contents. He helped me pick the items up, and then asked for my number. At least he was a man who got to the point. I gave him my newly memorized phone number, then left. My mission for tonight was accomplished. 

The next day at noon, he called, asking me to dinner that night. I agreed and found out the address of the new restaurant. When I arrived, we instantly connected, well, _Laura_ connected with him. I had to remember not to have personal feelings, it could get me killed. We talked of our occupations and our likes and dislikes. Before I knew it, three hours had passed. We left the restaurant laughing about a story he had told. I cannot remember what the story was, but it was so funny, I had to sit down on a bench to keep from falling over. He sat down next to me and said how much fun he had. I agreed and said that we would get together again soon.

Before my eyes, a year passed of dates and outings. My favorite memory is about six months after meeting Jack. I awoke one morning to a doorbell. A delivery man was there with a dozen roses. Jack was out of town at the time, at a "business meeting." Of course, I knew it was a mission. I had begun to doubt myself, though. I was feeling what I said I wouldn't. I was unintentionally falling for Jack Bristow. 

After the year passed, Jack asked me to meet him in the park nearby. As I arrived, I felt a fluttering feeling in my stomach, as if it knew what was happening before my head did. Jack found me and we sat on a bench talking. After a couple minutes, the conversation changed. He spoke of when we met and of how he felt. Suddenly, I got what my stomach had felt. Before I could speak, Jack was on his knee, asking me to marry him. Of course, keeping to my mission, I said yes. Yet, I felt I didn't say yes just for the mission.

I sent a message back to the KGB of the recent "developments". They responded that I was to stay there and go through with it. I hadn't even gotten any information and a year had passed. They said it was all right, though, that I had completed the first phase of my mission.

The wedding was small, only a few friends of Jack and mine came. I moved into his house soon after. It, like my apartment, was simple, yet homily. I adapted to the normal day routine of Jack leaving at 5 each morning and coming home at 7 each night. I, of course, was the loving wife he came home to, comforting him when he was stressed. Sometimes he had funny stories and we'd laugh together. Each night, though, I would look through his briefcase.

The first time I tried to get into the briefcase, I had problems. There was a lock on it that needed a turn-style code to get in. The next day, I sent another message to the KGB, asking for a decoder or listening device. Sure enough, two weeks later, I was sent a small device that would let me hear when the numbers in the turn-style were lined up. I mentally recorded the code: 72894. 

About four months into the marriage, I was sent a letter that my new case handler would be coming twice a month for me to check in with him. I would give him any and all information I had gotten from Jack. He would come to a hotel nearby and I would go there while Jack was at work. 

For three more months, things went just as planned. I met with my handler, Alexei, each time giving him a little more on Jack and the CIA's new plans. One week, though, I hadn't been feeling too well. In fact, I felt dreadful. I stopped by the store to pick up the answer to my questions and went to the meeting. I informed Alexei of my fear and he told me to do what I had to do to find out what was wrong. So, right in the bathroom, I found out the truth. The problem that could change everything I had set out for. The one thing that **would** change my life forever.

I was pregnant.

Okay, so, what'd you think? Please R&R!!!!


	2. Losing Myself

Chapter Two: Losing Myself

I cried so hard that day, knowing that things would be different now. Sooner or later the KGB would want me to come back, and I would have a child to leave behind. This was not one of the arrangements. Alexei told me that this was good and that it would prove my closeness with Jack. The problem is, closeness wasn't good. In fact, it was dangerous.

I went home and loaded on the make-up to cover up the trails the tears had left on my face. I made dinner, as usual, and had the table set before Jack got home. He came and we had a lovely dinner. If I hadn't been plotting against him and the U.S., it would have been wonderful. 

Once we finished, I told him to sit on the couch because I had something to tell him. He sat, and I told him that I knew that we'd only been married for seven months, but that I was pregnant. He was overjoyed, saying that now we'd be a well-rounded family. 

I went to the doctor and had my check-up. I was already a month along and she was surprised I hadn't come in sooner. I had my ultrasound and saw the small human growing inside me. I cried again on the way out. How could I abandon a child? Or a husband who loved me? 

I wanted to just tell the KGB to forget it. I either wanted to stay here or come back before the baby was born. I couldn't leave a child with no mother. I talked again to Alexei about this, but he said that orders were orders and if I was told to go, that I would. If I didn't, it would put not just me, but my new family in danger. I agreed and left the rest of my feelings unspoken.

The months passed, and I learned all the "joys" of pregnancy. First, there was morning sickness. I would be extremely hungry in the day, then throw it all up at around 2:30 in the morning. Then there came the cravings. I wanted specific foods more than others. Pasta was a definite favorite. I also liked ice cream. My feet began to swell, I began to get more and more tired, and I was having mood swings left and right. Sometimes I was so cruel; I was surprised he stayed around. Other times I would break out crying for no reason. Hormones were a killer. After five months of the torture, I had another doctor's appointment. They were becoming a regular task to me. This time, though, I was asked whether or not I wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl. I said yes, knowing that this might be my only connection with the child. The ultrasound read that it was a girl.

I told Jack that night and he was thrilled. We immediately started thinking up names. Finally, I thought of Sydney. When I was just joining the KGB, I was sent on a mission to Sydney, Australia. It was so beautiful; I wanted to go back someday. Jack decided on her middle name: Anne. That was his mother's name, so he wanted to include it. Of course, I couldn't mention my mother's name. Part of my cover was that I had never known who my parents were, and that I had grown up in an orphanage. 

I had just gotten into my ninth month when I went into labor. Jack was at work and I had been at home, watching a movie. Suddenly, it felt like my stomach was tightening around Sydney. I knew this was a contraction. I called Jack and he said he'd be home as soon as he could. When he did arrive, we rushed to the hospital and got right into a room.

Labor is probably the easiest part of having a baby. People made it out to be painful and long and hard. It felt like nothing compared to the training I had gone through. Sydney came quickly, not wasting any time. After she was cleaned off, I held her in my arms for what seemed like an eternity. She had thick brown hair, like me. Her eyes were also a beautiful dark brown, this time like Jack. I stared into her eyes for a long time, letting her learn the lines of my face.

We took her home three days later. We had decorated a room for her nursery right next to our room. It was a pale pink with yellow ducklings stenciled on the wall. A bassinette was placed in the corner with a desk beside it. I took a box from the table that held the bracelet I had as a baby. It fit perfectly around Sydney's small wrist. 

For days I never wanted to leave her side. Every time she cried in the middle of the night, I went to her. I wanted every moment I could with her. Soon she learned to crawl, then sit up. I was so happy to have her grow up that I began to ignore almost everything else.

I hadn't gone to my meetings with Alexei in three months. I'm sure the KGB was upset with me, but I wanted to be with Sydney. I received a call one day when Jack was at work telling me to come to the next meeting or my baby would be in danger. I, of course, went, bringing Sydney in with me. Alexei said that the training program Jack was creating would soon be complete. I was to break into his briefcase tonight and get the final information on it. 

The problem was, Jack didn't come in that night. He had another mission to go on. I sat around the house with Sydney, thinking of what I should do. I called Alexei and told him of the situation. He said that there was nothing to do but wait.

And I did wait. First for Jack to come home, then for the ever dreaded call. Soon, I didn't know when, I would be told to forget this life and leave. I waited that whole first year. 

Sydney grew even more; learning to stand, then walk. She even muttered what were the beginnings of words. Each time I took a picture or video to remember the moment. When I left, I wouldn't be able to take them with me unless I planned it. I could say that I was going to get copies for something when I "died". Planning would come later. 

Jack started bringing home more and more on his new training program. It was going to find children with excelled intelligence. They would be trained to be agents, then brainwashed. They would later be contacted about joining the agency.

How could such a loving husband create such a cruel program? I had seen the best sides of him, especially around Sydney. Yet here he was, setting up a program for training a child to be lethal. 

I tried to reason with myself. He was probably forced to make it up. His superiors probably gave him only a few choices and this was the most humane. But how was this even humane? I was so confused. 

Worse yet, I was stealing this program for the KGB. They would use it as well. They would think it ingenious, nobody would suspect a child as an agent. It felt like a huge weight had been put on my shoulders. I couldn't let the KGB use this information. But yet, I had to. Failure to comply with my duties meant danger. 

Time passed so quickly. Before I could take it in, Sydney was turning four. We were very close, the fun ones in the family. Jack would be so serious, chastising Sydney when she was wrong and rarely complementing her when she was right. Contrary to Jack, I laughed with her during her good days and staying by her side when she cried.

I signed her up for ice skating lessons, which she thanked me profusely for. She also started gymnastics. I was going to sign her up for self-defense, but Jack protested. One day, we were baking cookies when Jack came home early. We grabbed handfuls of flour and threw them at him, laughing. He didn't take the surprise very well. 

Soon she turned five and we grew even closer. She would talk to me about her preschool class and the mean boys. I told her that most boys were, and that she wouldn't meet many nice ones until she was a big girl. She laughed and said that she was a big girl. I told her that she'd have to be an even bigger girl to meet a nice boy. 

Jack began to bring back less and less on his project. Finally, I found a letter telling him to discontinue the project, now titled Project Christmas. I told Alexei this and he said to be ready to leave within the next year. 

I cried that night, after Jack was asleep. I went downstairs into our family room, lay down on the couch, and cried hard. Sydney came down and asked what was wrong. I said that mommy didn't feel well and that she just needed to cry. She said that crying worked for her too. We must've sat there for hours, me crying and her holding my hand and putting her little head in my lap.

I made it my personal mission to tell Sydney how much I loved her every day. I would hug her each time she came home and take her out for ice cream some days. We laughed more and were almost inseparable.

Jack, however, was growing even more distant. He worked more, saying little when he got home. I was somewhat glad that I wouldn't have to stay with him. Sure, I did care for him. He was, of course, my husband. Still, though, He had changed so much from the man I met seven years ago. Had his writing 'Project Christmas' changed him?

I couldn't wonder for long. Sydney was turning six, and I knew the extraction was coming soon. Alexei told me so. On Sydney's sixth birthday, I took her aside and sat her down. I told her that I was very proud of her and that I would always love her. She said she loved me too, and that she wanted to go open her presents. I told her to go, laughing and running right behind her. 

Two weeks passed, and I got my call. The moment I had dreaded had come. One week from today, I was going to "die". I was to drive down to a pier on the south side of town, where a "drunk" would run me off the road. I would suck the air out of the tires to keep me underwater. At 5:00 that night, a team would come to search the water. That team would get me down the river and get me on a plane back to Russia.

When I got back home, though, I would be Irina Derevko. No more Laura Bristow. Not a mom, not a wife, not a teacher. I would go back to my family until another mission came, and I would disappear again. 

Though I hated to leave my daughter, it would be wonderful to see my family again. I missed Anya so much. She would be graduating from the Academy later this year. I would love to see her. Another plus to going back was my parents. Laura Bristow had no parents. Irina Derevko did. I smiled at the thought.

The next day, I took Sydney to her gymnastics class. I watched her the whole time, acting like I was reading or looking through papers. She was very flexible and had good balance. She would make a good agent, I thought. No, she couldn't get into the life. It would kill her, and me, to see what it was like. 

What if Jack got her recruited? What if she did become an agent? I made up my mind then and there that if that did happen, I would get her out. Even if it meant forsaking everything I'd done. Even if it meant coming back from the dead. I would save her. 

The day came and it broke my heart. I took a couple of my favorite pictures of Sydney and told Jack I was going to make copies of them. I said that the best place was on the south side of town, so I'd be gone for a while. I drove to my designated meeting spot and waited. It was only 3:30, and I was supposed to go in at four. I put the pictures into a waterproof bag so I could protect them. 

My cell phone rang at 3:55, asking if I was ready. I said yes, while getting into my car. Alexei told me then that the team would come at 4:30 instead, just so I could get out of there quickly. I drove off the pier, tears streaming down my cheeks. I landed abruptly in the water and swam out of the window. I then pulled the stopper out of the tire and began sucking in the air. 

The time passed slowly, each second seeming like an hour. After a while, I started thinking about Sydney. Did she know what happened yet? Or was she oblivious to the fact, just sitting down playing with her dolls? I imagined the second one, her sitting in her room, playing out a wedding or party. 

I heard a noise above me. The team was here. One of the men had an extra oxygen tank, which he helped me hook on. We swam down the river, heading to the extraction point. I got out of the water and was rushed right into a van. My hair was dried quickly, then tied up so I would look different. Alexei accompanied me to the airport terminal, then onto the plane. I stared out the window, not wanting to leave L.A. Alexei promised things would be okay, that my family would be fine.

We landed back in Moscow and all my sadness left. I got to go home, for my first time in 7 years. My family welcomed me back happily. They hadn't known i was coming, so it was a joyous event. They asked where I had lived, what I had done. I told them that I had traveled around, seeing all the sights people go to see in America.

Three weeks later, Anya graduated from the academy. We celebrated all week, having the best time. After that week, though, things settled down and I went back to the KGB. I was surprised that I hadn't thought of Sydney since I returned. 

The KGB commended me for my work, saying that I had already been promoted to a top agent. They said that I would be going on another mission soon, so enjoy my time here.

And so things went. I obeyed the precious KGB, for a month at least. Finally, I decided to check on my Sydney. Before I had left, I had installed a couple bugs in the house to watch her. I went to the mini television I had hooked up to the bugs. I turned it on and was horrified. I saw Sydney sitting at a table, putting together a gun. She handed it to Jack, who praised her for her "good work." He was using Project Christmas on her. What had I left her to? 

Years passed, and that nightmare never left. I had left Sydney to be trained as an agent. If he was using the project on her, that meant she would be an agent, no doubt about it.

I did every mission for the KGB, until it was disbanded. I then became a "free agent", doing work for miscellaneous businesses, getting closer and closer to my goal, freeing Sydney. 

Then came the day when I actually saw her again, in Taipei. Of course, one of my employers was on the other room, so I couldn't do what I wanted to do: hold her and tell her I was so sorry. Instead, I shot her, leaving her a clear route to get out. That day I decided it was time to gain her trust again. I left two days later, and turned myself into the CIA. 

Things went on after that, no trust was completely granted. Soon, though, I saw that Sydney could not get out of the CIA until SD-6 was taken down and Sloane was apprehended. The first of those came true quickly. SD-6 was taken down, taking a lot of stress away from Sydney's life.

The problem was, Sloane had not been there at the take down. He was still out there, causing so many problems. Sydney refused to leave before he was gone. So, I contacted him, telling him I wanted to be "extracted." 

On the way to the extraction, though, I slipped up. Jack and I had been staying at a hotel near the site. He had been taking out my tracker, which would help with my cover-up, when I started remembering old times. Before I knew it, I was kissing him. I knew falling in love could kill me, as it had before, but I couldn't help it. Being with him, alone, after so many years of wanting to come back, was a bad combination. 

I was extracted by Sloane the next day, breaking my heart. Surely Jack and Sydney would think they had been betrayed, again. Soon, he decided that he wanted to give all his Rambaldi artifacts to me. Things were going as planned. I could give the artifacts back to the CIA and go back. Of course, I would have to eliminate Sloane in the process. 

Then the stupid CIA had to intervene. Had they not come to the Tuscan villa, I would have gotten everything. Instead, I ended up running from my own daughter and getting shot in the shoulder. Though, that did make Sydney and I even. I got into the helicopter, watching Sydney run to Emily's dead form on the ground. I was now farther than I was this morning. Now Sloane wouldn't give up until everyone paid for her death. 

That night, I turned the message sender I had programmed into my earrings on. As I had said to Sydney when I saw her in Barcelona: TRUTH TAKES TIME. Sydney would figure out the message, which meant she should know I was on her side. No matter what happened, I was on her side. 


End file.
